MY ESCAPE FROM SCIENTOLOGY/PT.3 - How God led me out of the darkness (My testimony/Michael D'Aigle)
(If you missed Parts 1 - 2 read my blog)
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT...
The longer I was involved with Scientology, the more I started to doubt the whole thing; there was just something about it that didn't sit well with me. I come from a background, that allowed me to have a basic foundation in Christian theology. I converted to Christianity at the age of 12, and for a while went to a parochial school, and for a while I attended church regularly and was very sincere I might add. That all ended with my journey into drugs/rock-and-roll and life in the fast lane. Wherever God was, He seemed a million miles away from me at this time of my life. But, my background and familiarity with the Bible and Christian teaching was perhaps serving me well at this time when darkness and confusion seemed to envelope me.
I began to look closely at the lives of the other staff members, particularly those who were our leaders and was greatly disturbed by what I perceived to be a lack of virtue and good character. That may sound strange coming from a lost sinner, who had spent years doing drugs, and doing things that are not worthy of being mentioned here; but it dawned on me that Scientology had some serious flaws based on what I was observing with my eyes and ears.
Lying, fornication, foolish jesting and coarse language, no make that "filthy language" was very common when we were not in front of customers or potential clients. I sensed that we were all good at "putting on a false front", a facade for the public; but when we were alone with each other - we were no different than the people I knew when I was in the streets, or when I was a party animal hanging out with groupies and stoned out rock stars on the road... Yes indeed, my eyes and ears were getting the message: SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT HERE!
WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
It was about this time that I began to cry out in my inner being to God. I started to pray silently, quietly up towards heaven - God if You're there, if You're really there; please show me what is truth? Help me to find You. Show me what to do? Help me find my way? I asked God to reveal Himself to me, and to help me know what I was supposed to be doing? I was very miserable, and realized that Scientology was not what I thought it was, or what I hoped it would be... Little did I know it at the time, but God heard me cry out in despair - and He was listening to my every word.
I began to read the Bible in secret, and especially the gospels. I devoured the Gospel of John, and would read privately whenever I could. I prayed, read the Bible and meditated on the scriptures when ever my mind was free enough to do so. I was being set free inside, but I knew that my contract with Scientology was a sticking point in leaving; besides - I had no place to go to anyway. The seeds of my being set free were all in place, as the word of God was freeing my mind and spirit and soul from the inside out! I knew that the Bible was something I could turn to , something that would give me the answers that I needed... I was right. God was breaking the chains and strongholds in my life as I studied and absorbed the scriptures like a starving man on a deserted island.
THE FINAL DAYS...
The attitude of most Scientologists on staff towards other religious beliefs, especially Christianity was very condescending and mocking in tone. They really believed that Scientology was the answer, the best way to help mankind... This meant I was keeping my devotions and pursuit of spiritual truth and deliverance a secret and this was becoming more and more difficult because you are rarely alone when you are on staff. I knew that I had to leave, but there was this haunting and gripping fear that had me in a constant state of paralysis and kept me from acting on my desire to leave and be free.
After months of praying, and reading the scriptures - I finally felt strong enough to plan my escape - the day of my exodus from this horrible, frightening maze of confusion and this never ending feeling that I was trapped, caught in something that was not of God. It's hard to describe, but at the time leaving, and simply walking away seemed almost impossible - something that I was terrified to think about ; but I knew if I didn't leave - I might end up being swallowed up - engulfed in the evil and web of deception that I had become a part of...
THE DAY OF ESCAPE...
The day I left, was sunny and bright - and there wasn't a demon or devil in hell that was going to prevent me from leaving Scientology or walking away. I had no money, no car, nothing but the decision I had made months earlier - to leave this place of torment and never look back! I drove to the Org that morning just as I had on every other morning, but that day I had a sense that this terrible nightmare was going to end for me. As I walked out into the beautiful sunshine that day, and headed back to Flint, Michigan; I didn't know what my future held - or what the next chapter of my life would be; but I knew this one thing: I WAS FREE! THANK YOU GOD - I'M FREE, I'M FREE, I'M FREE - I don't know what it feels like to walk out of prison after being locked up for years and years -but I'm sure it must feel like I felt that day!
I cannot put into words the feelings of elation, and joy and freedom that filled my soul as I cut my ties from Scientology and walked away that lovely - sunny day; but I can tell you it was very - very real. Sometime later, I committed my life, everything to Jesus Christ, - my will, my music, my future - all to Him to do as He wanted. I knew that "they" - the Scientologists in Detroit were going to come after me because of the contract I signed - and they did. (I'll share my final confrontation with Scientology in my conclusion, next)
TO BE CONTINUED...
Blessings to all/Michael D'Aigle
Write me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
I love God, people, and all of God's creation. For me there is always something or someone to write about...